Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Graf 10 3-part paragraph
My kids my kids. They are always keeping me busy. My baby is ten months old. She is always getting sick. She is always going to the doctors for whatever reason. She gets very mad and has a hard time sleeping. She also cries a lot. She does not like to wait for anything. All week she has been like this not sleeping or eating. She has also been pulling at her ears. There is a lot going on with her, it could be another ear infecting or just teething. With the teething it could be anything like a temp, puling her ears, not sleeping,and just mad. I thought we would wait be for we went to the doctors to see if it could get better or not.
She has just got over a ear infection about a week ago. She also had pink eye with the ear infection. She had been getting a little bit better from them. I made me think it was just teething. Her top tooth is right there about ready to come through. Than her older sister ended up getting sick too. I brought her to the doctors and than thought I should bring her to because if I did not bring her she would of gotten worse again. Than I would have to make another trip to the doctors. Now they both are fine and there was nothing wrong with them. I feel if I did not bring them it would of gotten worse, and been another ear infection or something like that.
As mad as they gets, I still love them no matter what. Even if we have not slept all night all they have to do is smile and all that goes away like it never happen. It is so hard when they can't tell you what is wrong and they just get mad because you don't know whats wrong with them. I think they are only a baby once too, so I try to take ever moment with them good or bad. I also hope soon she will grow out of the ear infections. Her teeth will coming in soon to and we will not have to do it again. We will be able to sleep again maybe even through the night.
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I put paragraphs in and tabs in not sure why they did not show up.
ReplyDeleteDouble space between grafs and that will work.
ReplyDeleteI see a real ending here, but not a real beginning, not a strong start. And the middle feels like a jumble. I'm not even sure if you're intending to do one child or both.
So rewrite and repost. Break this into three grafs. Make clear what you're giving examples of: sickness, busyness, or what and then focus on providing the examples in the middle section.